Lies Lies and Damn Lies

Well I can be prone to thinking from time to time,

mostly it is a hindrance but sometimes it can be fruitful

it is always absorbing however.

I have been thinking about the obvious way in which people lie

and the war as it spins along with political speak

and recalled the day that a Hungarian associate of mine,

whose name escapes me, pissed on my hand

as I passed him my cigarette lighter under the shit house cubicle wall.

He thought his levity was funny you see,

not appreciating the seriousness of my demeanour,

until I told him to take a look at his arse,

as by then it would have been tastefully adorned with engineers ink

I had lavished on his toilet seat prior to taking my own seat.

It was just my good fortune

that he was the one who became the recipient of my jest.

I suppose you could say it was a good opportunity

to get one’s retaliation in first. Anyway, you might be wondering

where the association is at this point,

well don’t worry as I will get to that later,

should I not forget that is,

as my concentration levels seemed to have deteriorated recently.

I guess from a kind of subliminal shell shock

from thoughts of the war and guilt

derived from too many sausage and egg toasties.

I have so many problems right now that you would not believe

and they seem to have been exacerbated

by my futile attempts to refrain from smoking,

which coincided with a desire to exercise more.

Life can be cruel sometimes, though I am thankful that I can still afford to fail.

Well, when I say fail, don’t take that to mean that I have tried.

No, not a bit of it,

in fact,

these resolutions have so far failed

to be transformed from my thought process into deeds.

Anyway where was I?

Oh yes the war,

now which war is that you may well be wondering,

well wars are nothing if not current right?

So I guess you can think of whatever war is going on at the time of reading this, and that I am sure will suffice.

Human frailty is such that I am sure there will be one or two to choose from,

oh yes and of course there are the lies which I touched on earlier in this piece, but I must come clean

and tell you that the only lies I can think of at this moment in time

are the ones I have written thus far,

so if you have stayed the course hoping to find out what the association was between my fabricated Hungarian friend and lies were

then all I can do is apologise

for the lies that you thought were to be exposed but were not

and now have been

and thank you for dropping by to hear them,

or not as the case may be.

Don’t forget to wash your hands before you leave.